Dear Self, You Have My Permission

…to be that guy you’ve always felt you wanted to be.

to move backwards if it’s in the name of our values

Now, now, now, Self…

There are certain things that I do not give you permission to do.

I DO NOT give you permission

To care about what kind of car you drive more than the people in it, the journey, or the destination.

To keep doing tasks and taking on roles that really don’t suite your gifts. If you started, quit. Your permission has been revoked.

To care about your career more than your family. Especially not the “internet” version of your career.

To fight your true self in the name of self improvement. If the clothes don’t fit, don’t wear them.

To assume that other people are doing any more or any less than you are to become their ideal selves. It might be true, or it might be dead wrong. Your place is not as judge, but as the fountain. You know this. Stop acting like an internet expert; you’re not the consultant to the masses but only to your better self.

To shy away from the discomfort of fulfilling your purpose. It might itch, it might burn, it might bruise, it might break you. But what’s a few more scars. You of all people should fear not more scars.

To empty your cup so far that it becomes difficult to fill again. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and no one needs a drink anyway if you’re pouring poison.

To compare yourself to seemingly “more successful” people. Have you seen what you have? Like, really? Have you flipped through your iPhone photos recently? Good gracious. I guarantee that your comparator doesn’t have even have an off-suit 7-2 and you’re bringing up the royal flush behind the scenes. You win. Go all in on that shit.

To compare your life to what could have been. Again, please reread the immediately previous point. You’ve already won and you’re continually winning. What do you want, the Stanley Cup AND a Superbowl ring!? Get your head out of your ass, already. Be a hero to those around you, not a fictitious creature you perceive that you could have been in a parallel lifetime.

To buy clothes that you don’t need or calories you don’t need.

To say mean things because you’re feeling the truth.

To be the guard-dog of truth. You, you’re smart sometimes and you have an education. Does that give you the right to add even more divide among people who have the same goals? The answer is no. Do you want the life of your dreams, or do you want to be right all the time? They are not the same thing, and one is often a trade-off for the other. In fact, being “right” in the wrong context can come at a high cost.

To stop moving. If you are using dormant fear of moving backwards as an excuse for your inaction, I will straight up bitch slap you. Rest to fill your cup. Rest to allow room for happiness. Don’t fear forward movement and call it rest. They are not the same and your soul tells you which it is. Rest, then move….or bitch slap.

To ignore your health. Just because you genetically look like a guy who’s healthy doesn’t mean it will always be that way. You have permission to slack off here and there; you do not have permission to outright ignore this aspect of your life. Be as healthy as you can be. What’s the downside, really?

But, dearest self, don’t forget what I said when we started. You do have my permission to be the guy. I don’t have to tell you what that looks like. You already know. You’ve always known. You have my permission.

Now go.

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